


Author’s notes

by Rainmaker



Series: Looking beyond [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 9,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26634025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainmaker/pseuds/Rainmaker
Summary: This is info on my ‘Looking beyond’ storyIt includes character details and additional notes on background to expand my head canon.Enjoy!
Series: Looking beyond [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937626
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Random facts for Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following my head cannon, here are some extra tidbits

One time, early on, when Erwin received one of Sara’s gift baskets, Mike ate all the cured meats. _All of them_. And most of the cheese. Erwin was not impressed.  
  


Mike eventually fessed up to Sara so she now brings an even bigger basket.

If Hange gets given a plateful of the high end food, she has the habit of forgetting about it and eating her usual food instead. Moblit usually ends up eating the nice stuff at Hange’s insistence.

Sara is the one who told Erwin about Lovof’s connection to the Lang company (no regrets/birth of Levi). She had no idea what it led to for Levi. He eventually works out she may have been involved but never says anything about it.

Sara’s name means “princess” and was deliberately chosen by her mother for that reason as that’s what she wanted for her child, or, moreover, for herself. Levi’s internal mocking of her, calling her a princess, is an unintentional link on his part.


	2. Random facts from chapter 2

Random story/character facts for Chapter 2

Jacob’s name was chosen for its negative meaning “assail”

Huber, not to be confused with Hoover (looking at you Bertolt), emphasising the “Hugh” sound at the beginning of the name, comes from the German word Hube meaning hide which is a unit of land a farmer might possess. Bit on the nose but it’s basically because Jacob’s family owns land and property.

Jacob came very close to closing down the hunting manor permanently at one point, possibly to sell it, but Sara was able to talk him out of it. She discussed it’s positive points (i.e. having access to fresh meats and produce, having a reasonable profit margin, keeping them in good stead with the Garrison etc) in front of another Lord who in turn thought Jacob a bit daft for trying to do so. Later, in private, she got a slap for her efforts but she thought it worth it as Jacob decided to keep open and the workers were able to keep their jobs all year round.

Moblit is always very happy when Sara’s there to distract Hange. It means he can get some time to himself without worrying about her, knowing Sara would take care of her. Kind of like a parent going on a long awaited night out! While he wasn’t there on that particular visit, he heard all about it later. He got _very_ angry when he heard about Sara’s latest bruise. (I love protective Moblit!)

Erwin has been to the hunting manor many times as a boy before he joined the military. He loves the beds there (mentioned in chapter 22) and the quiet, especially when his squad isn’t there making a racket.

Before the fall of wall Maria and a refocus on ODM gear, the Scout regiment would sometimes get substandard equipment but didn’t have the funds or ability to source other suppliers who would maintain a higher quality. The scouts would use other, cheaper, methods to try and keep their ODM gear going like what is offered by the Marstons who usually specialise in horse riding gear. In this instance it’s a restorative oil.

The young lad mentioned is Oskar from chapter 24


	3. Random facts for chapter 3

Chapter 3 random facts

The microscope Hange is given is the one she uses in season 2 to look at the piece of the wall.

For once, it didn’t cost Sara anything beyond money to get Hange her microscope. She saved up her ‘allowance’ and got it sent to her. Her old one gets sent to a nearby school for the children to use.

Out of all the scouts Hange uses the most paper and regularly runs out. Even when they get twice as much she still runs out and bothers other people for more, usually Mike. Basically if it’s there, she’ll use it. The officers have an arrangement now that she only gets so much each quarter otherwise she’d just burn through it and they’d all be short.

Sara passes on the thank you note to the craftsman and they actually cry from Hange’s kind words.


	4. Random facts for chapter 4

Chapter 4 random facts

Just to confirm, Hange isn’t doodling in the corners, she’s just adding little notes for Sara to include

Erwin didn’t tell Levi Sara was the “guide” because he didn’t want to hear Levi insult her. He wouldn’t have especially after spending a while thinking about the domestic violence she could have endured

The tea Levi drinks is the same mix from chapter 17. Not everyone likes it because it’s quite strong.

Sara is very, very good at horse riding. Maiyer... not so much.


	5. Noah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of info on Noah

  
Noah’s name means rest or peace, basically the embodiment of what chimneys is supposed to offer

Weber from the German for weaver as his family worked in textiles

He is just shy of 6’, has blonde hair and dark green eyes.

He is quite young (18) and comes from a poor background but always tries to have a sunny disposition knowing the importance of the simple things, like a smile.

Pneumonia took most of his family, his only surviving are his older brother and 2 cousins. 

His brother wouldn’t have been able to look after him as he couldn’t afford it but they cut ties when Noah joined the military, saying he was throwing his life away by wanting to be a Scout (more on the brother later)

Extra sad is that if he tried to go back to this brother, he wouldn’t have been able to work with him as he needed two hands to work with the loom they had

  
  
Sara and Noah became very attached very quickly.

He did have a crush on Sara when they first met and was teased about it by the other veterans but she soon became a big sister figure to him.

He is a little intimidated by her title and status but it’s more from a sense of propriety and respect than anything else.

He is quite intelligent and would have gone far in the military if he hadn’t been injured

With more experience, he may have been skilled enough to join Squad Levi but, more likely, would have be been put into Hange’s squad because of his academic abilities

After he lost his eye and arm, he struggled to sleep, constantly waking from nightmares. When he got to chimneys, he basically passed out for 2 days. While it didn’t completely cure him of his bad dreams, the quiet helped to soothe him and he slept better from then on.

He shared quarters with Levi briefly and that’s when he learnt how to clean “properly”. He then taught the others.

Despite his youth and being one of the more recent additions to Chimneys, he is held in high regard and is effectively becoming the manager of the whole place. Definitely the go-to guy if anyone has a technical problem.

Sara adores him and she thinks he’s very sweet. He makes her laugh with his misconceptions about her. When they first met, she was introduced as a lady and he gave a ridiculously deep bow, nearly falling over.  
  


Sara taught Noah how to dance. When he stood on her foot for the first time he spent a full 3 minutes apologising. Sara found it hilarious.

He is one of my favourite OCs. Honestly I could write pages and pages on him!


	6. Random facts for chapter 5

Maiyer hates 12 chimneys because the people there are “too nice”. They’re inner strength is something he finds admirable but it’s something he really lacks so feels inferior by them.

Maiyer doesn’t like Sara staying in the bunkhouse because he thinks it’s inappropriate and should be beneath her to do so

Sara loves working in the warehouse, even if it means getting a dirty. Sorry Levi!

Sara does some of the drawings, but she is reluctant to do them as she doesn’t think she has the skills. She’s not bad at it, just isn’t that naturally talented.

Sara’s wish - she wants people to understand, truly understand, what the Scout regiment is trying to achieve, feeling that the general population doesn’t really have a clue

Kenny once paid for Rosie’s services and she knew Kuchel


	7. Joanna and Charlotte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Info on Joanna and Charlotte

  
Joanne is in her early 20s, 5’6 with mousy brown hair and brown eyes. She has quite a severe face until she smiles.

She’s from a very verbally abusive household and joined the military to escape it. She keeps this fact to herself for the most part. She has quite a few scars too but nothing like Sara’s back.

Thinking her life had little value, she went in to the scouts only to suddenly find purpose and good friends there. It nearly broke her when she was discharged.

Joanna lost part of her foot and can’t walk properly without it hurting.

She was mistrustful of Sara and Erwin to begin with but settled down once she met with the other veterans.

She has chilled out _a lot_. If her family saw her now, they wouldn’t recognise her.

Joanna finds Sara’s duality very funny - that’s she has a title and is well mannered but likes “roughing it” with the scouts. She’s not afraid to tease her for it as seen in chapter 6

She loves it when people sing

She hates vegetables

Charlotte joined the military at the same time as Sara but they weren’t friends until much later

If Sara had been able to stay in the Scouts, she and Charlotte would have been a very effective pairing and Charlotte wouldn’t have lost her hand (I’m writing an au of my au! I’ll tag it when I’m finally ready to publish)

She is robust and quite flirty.

She’s 5’4/5’5 and got the kind of figure most women would kill for. She has golden brown hair and pretty green eyes.

She’s clever and good with people, not afraid to talk to strangers.

She was going to join the Garrison until she overheard Sara and Erwin talking.

She is tone deaf and a bad singer, like howling cat bad. Thankfully she knows this and only sings when she’s drunk!


	8. Random facts for chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Info on Henri and chapter 6

Chapter 6 Random facts

The veterans are very supportive of the record keeping but most just can’t handle dealing with it

Charlotte always tries to distract Maiyer for Sara but she’ll be the first to admit she likes the attention

Henri lost his voice when he lost his squad mates. He screamed so hard he damaged his vocal chords and could to never make himself speak again. He has severe PTSD and it took him a long time to be comfortable around other people and their noise. His guitar eventually helped with this.

He is self taught in music, makes up his own songs but rarely writes them down

He once heard Sara humming to herself while she helped get breakfast one morning and that was that. He grabbed her and his guitar and made her sing for hours.

Grant is kind of a stereotype tough guy who’s actually a big teddy bear. He likes pretty women with big boobs and has been trying to get into Charlotte’s pants for years. While she’s flattered, she has no interest in him lol!

The best singing voice Levi ever heard was in the underground city. She was a barmaid in a rival gang’s turf (I smell another fanfic!)

I’m writing full lyrics for Henri’s song if anyone is interested. I may even write out the melody :)

Sara taught Noah and a couple of others how to dance. They semi regularly get Henri and Grant to play for them so they can practice and have some fun

Charlotte approached Levi thinking she could cheer him up lol!

  
Soundtrack option is Taylor Swift’s Safe and Sound. I heard a instrumental version of this played with two acoustic guitars and it was amazing. Lyrics add the sense of what 12 chimneys is all about.


	9. Lots of notes for chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Got a bit carried away with this one!

Sara wouldn’t have told Levi about her father whipping her if she hadn’t drank so much but she doesn’t regret telling him.

There is a couple of years between Erwin and Sara. Despite this she was one of the few children in town who could keep up with him academically thanks to her grandfather’s early interest in her education.

Sara annoyed the crap out of Erwin to begin with until one day he sat down to read a book she had already read. She sat down with him and asked him a few intelligent questions about it. Firm friends after that.

Sara’s parents are called John and Ingrid.

Ingrid “married up” when she snagged John having been from a poorer background. She wanted to live in luxury and loved the idea of being in with the nobility and aristocracy, even eventually using her own daughter to do so. She seduced John and got pregnant. While John’s father didn’t really approve of her, he agreed his son should “do the right thing”. Sara knows all of this. It effects how she sees marriage. (More on this later.)

Sara rarely saw eye to eye with her parents but she still loved them. She struggled to forgive them for taking her dreams away. While she understands more since she became a mother, she would never have done the same.

If her parents had lived long enough, they wouldn’t have understood Sara’s actions until they met the veterans. Then they would have been torn between thinking they’d done the right thing by saving their child from being so badly injured (or dying) and finally understanding the Scout’s ambitions and drive.

Sara and Jacob’s marriage was arranged but she tried to love him. Early on he could be charming though acted very entitled. After a while he got fed up with their situation, her “divided loyalties” (despite the fact that it was part of their agreement when the got married) and his lack of control over her and decided to do something about it.

Her parents were killed while they were travelling. Their carriage was attacked on route. It took Sara a long time to work out Jacob had done it because she didn’t want to believe it.

Jacob started separating Sara and William when the boy was three. Jacob used the pretence that he was going to get William properly educated so wouldn’t raise suspicion with the other nobles who were friendly with his wife.

Levi would win the arm wrestling match against Mike because he’s an Ackerman and, you know, _Levi_.

Levi rarely gets compliments about his intelligence. Normally only his strength is talked about.

Levi liked the fact that she touched him, even though it was just her finger tips.

Soundtrack option is Lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid. Stunning song. 

  
“Oh I hope someday I’ll make it out of here

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years”

Worth the YouTube search for AOT AMVs. There some amazing ones out there! 😉


	10. Facts for chapter 8 and a dirty limerick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol this is fun!

Sara’s grandfather was called Dieter

Sara’s grandmother was called Sandra and she was the love of his life. She died in childbirth and Dieter never remarried.

Feeling he had done badly with his son’s upbringing (after seeing John’s naivety with Ingrid), Dieter started early with Sara. He taught her to read, count and write and the ways of family business. He also taught her how to play cards and how to read people. She was his pride and joy. He didn’t agree with her joining the Scouts but certainly didn’t agree with his son’s actions. He died within a year of it.

Sara’s ability to read people helps with her relationship with Levi as he can be _very_ hard to read sometimes!

In case it wasn’t clear Levi never went to the bunkhouse, just went back to the study and nodded off there.

Grant nearly punched Sara in the face once when she woke him from a nap. He felt really bad about it to the point of picking her flowers for an apology.

Noah isn’t the only one who had a crush on Sara. Franz and a girl called Karin have one too. Karin never let slip but Franz did much to his regret as he got teased like Noah did.

Sara’s favourite dirty limerick:

“There once was a man named Klaus,

Who told the boys of his house,

I will take a firm stand,

That a tit in the hand,

Is worth more than two in the blouse.”


	11. Fun facts for Chapter 9

  
The woman is Charlotte. Levi just hasn’t heard her voice enough to recognise it.

Charlotte felt Levi’s general look and actions made him untrustworthy. His coldness to her and the others made her think he could betray their work.

Charlotte is very worried that Jacob would destroy the records if he ever found out about them.

Sara is very restrained in her admitting she likes Levi because she actually finds him very, _very_ attractive.

Despite him being on “guarding” (spying) duty, Maiyer went straight home to bed. He hates horse riding.

  
The man who needs Sara’s help is Hendrick 


	12. Chapter 10 random facts

Erwin once made the mistake of trying to speak to Sara in a friendly manner in front of other nobles. She got slapped around for it. 

Jacob frequently refers to Sara as “Erwin’s whore”. Erwin has heard about this and hates it.

Sara tried to talk Jacob into donating money and resources to the refugees as a way of making him look good. He obviously didn’t go for it.

Sara is very good at hiding her pain. She has a high pain threshold anyway but has learnt to hide it away as she knows Jacob enjoys seeing it.


	13. Notes for chapter 11

Charlotte wrote the note.

The veterans were stopped by soldiers when they got to the warehouse. They’re general state drew attention and that’s when Charlotte met a familiar face (see chapter 19).

As Charlotte feared (notes on chapter 9) when Jacob found out about the records, he burned them.

It was a mixture of hired thugs and a few corrupt, off duty MPs that evicted the veterans. Jacob paid them all to do it. He brought the MPs with him to make it “more official” if anyone asked about it.

Peter tried to surprise them and fight them off and was shot. He died not long after arriving at the warehouse.

Peter, Henri and Noah were not shot by the MPs but they did nothing about it.

Soundtrack option: hurricane by Fleurie - beautiful song and her voice is amazing.  
The first lines “I can feel your heart hanging in the the air. I’m counting every step as you count the stairs.” is for Sara as she feels Noah dying and slipping away from her.


	14. Random tidbits for chapter 12

Sara truly expected Erwin to blame her.

Erwin has only ever seen William twice before.

The look of shock and mild panic is muted on Levi’s face but it’s there! I have seen this actually happen more than once when men are suddenly handed babies or young children. It’s very funny!

Also, if you didn’t know, sleeping children are very floppy! If they’re properly sacked out, they can sleep through ANYTHING. It’s amazing.


	15. Chapter 13 notes

Sara nearly has a panic attack. If she hadn’t seen Levi, she would have hyperventilated and fainted. She then would have had the shit kicked out of her for “embarrassing” her husband.

When I first wrote this chapter I was listening to a piano version of “My Love” by Sia. Obviously the words don’t work for this (She’d never sing about being strong in earshot of Jacob!) but the tune she plays and song she sings has the same sort of sound.

Levi likes her playing. If he had to describe it, he would say it’s “not bad”. Lol!

Lady Stoker has only seen William once. She thought he was brilliantly behaved. He was asleep. 

There are some amazing harp music videos on YouTube. I highly recommend them!


	16. Randoms for chapter 14

  
Before Sara was called back to the Huber estate, she employed Charlotte at the store as a means of keeping an eye on things for her. The staff there really like her.

Charlotte did deliberately get orders sent out wrong to higher valued customers to get Sara back.

I wanted to emphasise the difference between “have” and “have nots” (Sara sees and feels this difference everyday) and give extra reasons for the poor state of the refugees. Sara does have quite the bleeding heart when in comes to those less fortune than her because she’s seen for herself what it’s like for people when they have nothing.

Erwin’s thoughts are right. If Sara hadn’t come, Levi would have written that report.

Sara overheard the plans for the refugees in a meeting at another nobles estate. She paid a servant a lot of money to pass on the note. She had to wait until her own guard fell asleep before she snuck out. She stole clothes from one of her staff (hence it being too small) so she could blend in more.

Levi can get kinda physical when he’s offering comfort to people. He didn’t really hesitate to hold a dying mans hand, he pats Isabel’s head, he does the same for Eren and Mikasa and he puts a hand on Mikasa’s shoulder to calm her as well. So I figure for a woman he’s attracted to who obviously very upset, he might just gently hold her head against his chest or shoulder. Nothing OTT but kinda soft.

Sara got stopped very briefly on the way back but thankfully wasn’t recognised. She used her boobs and a flirty smile to talk them into leaving her be.

Soundtrack option: Drove through ghosts by 65daysofstatic - awesome music that builds up sounding like someone running to me. If you YouTube it there is a pretty cool animation that been done with a robot.


	17. Chapter 15 random facts and Hange’s work week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of fun about the boys looking after Hange

This chapter was mostly about the passing of time for everyone.

I read somewhere about Levi knocking out Hange so he could bathe her. I find this brilliant! I think it would be awesome if he and Moblit got together and planned regular things for her:

  * On Monday Levi knocks her out cold and gives her a bath
  * Tuesday Moblit ties her to bed so she has to sleep
  * Wednesday Levi checks all her washing has been done
  * Thursday Moblit reviews what she’s eaten so far and near enough force-feeds her stew
  * Friday Levi cleans her office 
  * Saturday Erwin joins in and checks if she’s done her paperwork or if she’s spent too long in her office and need to get some fresh air and sunshine
  * Sunday Moblit ties her to a chair to get five minutes peace



Pixis talks about the loss of life from the reclamation plan at one point and I though Erwin might get that sense of apathy from the higher up about it too.

Erwin’s started to notice Levi’s awareness of Sara but he doesn’t think much about it (at the moment).

Little reminder about Sara’s merchant background. She “knows people” especially craftsman and suppliers.


	18. Extra notes for chapter 16

  
Lord Rouser is an OK guy for a noble. He loves to party though and gets a little handsy with the staff and soldiers, male and female alike, when drunk.

William is 7 now. He loves hearing about the “brave and daring heroes who fight the scary titans”, like any kid would. He’s never met a Scout properly before. When he meets Levi, it’s like meeting a fairytale knight.

Noah’s brother tried to kill Lord Huber (see notes on Noah) when he finally found out what actually happened.

William likes astronomy just like his mother. When he was very little she would make up constellations and stories for him while they looked at the stars.

If Jacob had been physical _at all_ with Sara within sight of Levi, Levi would have stepped in, regardless of the consequences.


	19. Chapter 17 and deleted scene notes

Mr Finis is 6’2 so not quite as tall as Mike but still tall and very bulky. Despite this Hange could have kicked his arse all on her own!

Hange orders from the glass blower Sara introduces her to twice a year.

Meet the tea sellers! This is the tea from chapter 1 and 4. Levi does buy from them, basically emptying out their stocks, but very rarely.

  
Au of an au - yes Sara would be a section Commander.

Originally this chapter was written with them all going to a pub/tavern and having a drink when a bar fight breaks out and Sara gets covered in beer giving her a good excuse to go back to the barracks for a change of clothes. Instead of the moment over tea leaves, Sara gets pushed into Levi and he catches her against him. I might add it later as a deleted scene if people want.

  
UPDATE! Deleted scene added! <https://archiveofourown.org/works/27315007>

Soundtrack Option is Hozier’s From Eden. Love the Mahogany sessions version.   
  
“Babe, there’s something tragic about you 

Something so magic about you, 

Don’t you agree?”


	20. Notes for chapter 18

Nile knows who Sara is to Erwin. He’s being deliberate in the way he asks the questions.

Sara and Nile have met and she doesn’t like him. _At all_. She thinks he’s incompetent.

If Levi had still been a criminal and lived up top, the Huber estate would have been a good target for him.

Levi’s words are honest. He really wasn’t sure Sara had it in her to kill someone despite what she said in chapter 7.

Erwin had been on leave from training when he found out from Sara’s grandfather about what happened to her and her back. When he went to see Sara, he got really upset and blamed himself for pushing her into following his footsteps in trying to join the military. She told him off for trying to take responsibility for her own choices and made him promise to keep moving forward for the both of them. She then swore she would help him however she could.


	21. Chapter 19 notes

After killing Jacob, Sara barely slept. Her memory is spotty about the night it happened (see chapter 36) and she was hazy until after the funeral.

Erwin nearly asked Levi why he wanted to come. If he had, Levi would have changed his mind, thinking he was interfering and not wanted, and stayed at headquarters.

After chimneys was taken, Sara and Charlotte were able to find employment for most of the veterans. Two were even able to return to their families.

The man Charlotte married is called Finn. He tried to get her to join the Garrison with him but they had a huge argument and went their separate ways. When he saw her at the warehouse, they rekindled their relationship and soon after he began courting her, not wanting to be without her ever again.

Jacob basically had been getting more and more vindictive towards the scouts for a while and started to go off the deep end after the attempt on his life.

As noted before, Sara is very good at reading people. It shows just how upset she is that she can’t read her friends.

Levi is right. If Jacob had been found out, he would have been able to brush it all under the rug, then try again (and succeed) later.


	22. Notes for chapter 20

  
Poor Joanna doesn’t really know Hange and her wacky ways. She is now mildly terrified of her.

Despite Sara’s doubts, no one at the manor would have betrayed her.

Sara did try to plan to kill her husband before but he was too well guarded and she was too closely watched so nothing could come of it

Sometimes making up names is easy, sometimes it’s really hard *shrugs shoulders* it’s weird!


	23. Random notes for chapter 21

Random fork in the road - if Sara had been born in the underground city, she would never have met Levi and would have died very young from an illness.

Hange doesn’t talk about Levi as much as she used to, knowing how much he values him privacy but Sara remembers what she’s already shared (hhhmmmmm I wonder why?)

Sara and Erwin share a few habits thanks to growing up together for example, if they have a packet of sweets, they make them last as long as possible and when reading a new book, they both struggle not to peek at the last page.


	24. Notes for ch22

After Levi fell asleep, it took Sara a while to notice. Then she watched him for a while. She thinks he’s very cute when he sleeps.

Sara fell asleep 3 minutes after sunrise.

I love the little moments of telepathy Levi and Hange have. It’s canon and it’s great!

Sara never EVER expected to be thanked for what she did


	25. Chapter 23 notes

Erwin likes the trees nearby and as a child would sit in them for hours with his books. Sara, being younger and smaller, would always come and bother him, not able to climb quite as well. One time, she fell out and bruised her bottom really badly, to the point she struggled to sit down.

One of the books Levi reads is Sara’s favourite book of poetry. Another is one she and Erwin doodled in when they were little.

It might seem odd that Charlotte doesn’t spend a huge amount of time with Erwin, Levi and Hange but she doesn’t really know them that well. She wasn’t in their squads and she would rather be with Joanna and Frederic.

Erwin and Hange ended up helping with the washing.

Soundtrack option is Daughter’s Youth. Always makes me think of Erwin, is that weird?

“One day we’ll reveal the truth

That one will die before he gets there.”


	26. Notes for chapter 24

Levi found Sara’s fluster cute. He likes it when she blushes. (See chapter 32)

Oskar from chapter 2 :) He isn’t so young anymore! He’s 5’11 with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

Levi knew he found Sara attractive, he just didn’t know _how_ attractive and he didn’t think it was mutual


	27. Notes for ch25

If Levi hadn’t spent some time following Sara about he would have started cleaning things in the study. Hange would have laughed her head off

Mario gets odd tremors in his hands. He’s very self conscious about it

Hange talks about titans in her sleep.


	28. Notes for chapter 26

Sara very rarely beats Erwin at chess, he’s too well versed in the game.

Even when they were younger, he never let her win and so she knows when she wins it’s a true victory.

Levi can’t beat him either unless Erwin’s tired or distracted.

Sara is good enough to beat others at chess but, like Pixis, often lets them win to gain or keep favour.


	29. More notes! Ch27

  
Sara’s sleep pattern is all over the place at this point. For the next week, she falls asleep in random spots in random place. Charlotte finds this kinda funny until she sees her having a nightmare.

Charlotte slept through everything

If Levi had left after Sara said thank you, it wouldn’t have changed much with what happens between them. They just would have shared those heated looks for a bit longer and fallen in to bed together at a different time (chapter 33)


	30. Ch28

Levi is usually very careful with the women he sleeps with because of his mother. He saw in the underground city how poorly some of the women were treated and he really didn’t like it, knowing his mother’s profession and how she could have gone through the same thing. Aftercare is important people!

Despite his idle thoughts, Levi doesn’t really think he’ll make it to old age 

Other things on Sara’s list include visiting graves and checking in on other “married in” women who have also suffered domestic violence


	31. Notes for Chapter 29

Hange and Sara’s method isn’t implemented because Hange and Moblit get a better idea later on. This eventually leads to the target capture weapons/cannons.

  
Erwin has to handle Hange submitting an innovative (or crazy) idea at least once a month. 

When Sara and Levi are stood together on their own she basically just says thanks for coming again.

Hange can list the people Levi calls “friend”. It’s more people than you’d think.


	32. Chapter 30 notes

If Wall Maria hadn’t fallen, yes Jacob would have eventually gotten fed up with Sara, feeling she had lost her value and he would have had her killed.

Lord Wolff is a widower (Guess how his wife died.) and has a couple of bastard children.

Sara’s view of herself is kinda twisted now.

If Levi, for some random reason, told Hange about having sex with Sara she would tell him off, thinking he was taking advantage of her. Then she’d speak to Sara about it and tell her off for taking advantage of him! Protective Hange is awesome!


	33. Notes for chapter 31

There is always paperwork! Bureaucracy is a part of life so I figured the AOT universe would be no different!

Brier is mentioned by Erwin in canon as being in charge of provisions so I thought I’d borrow him.

I like the idea that they have allocated funds, like a county council and if they don’t allocate it and spend it, they may loose it for the following year. So if the scouts submitted their paperwork to the higher ups in the interior, and some bored bureaucrat went through it with a fine tooth comb and found unspent money, they’d have it docked. I’ll say this has happened before and really annoyed Brier.

I love the idea that Jacob or at least one of his representatives would have to go to these meetings year after year, and say in front of everyone, including Erwin, that he supports the military/Scout regiment. It would be pure torture for him!


	34. Notes for Ante up

Sara sends Mike a bottles of whiskey every year. She doesn’t know she’s drinking the gift she gave him that he saves for special occasions.

Mike and Moblit were the only ones told about what really happened with Lord Huber. Mike because he’s old friends with Sara, Moblit because Hange trusted him with it. Everyone else just hears rumours.

To make Sara blush, all Erwin does is say something like “Thank you for your esteemed patronage my dear lady.” He says it is a very flattering way. Commander Handsome being dreamy lol

Levi really likes seeing Sara blushing.

Sara has met Lord Wolff on a few occasions before she killed her husband. He frightens her.

Sara’s conversation with Levi is exactly that. A conversation. They’ve definitely ‘taken a shine to each other’ but can speak about normal things together.

I win at games all the time. My family think I cheat! I thought this would be funny for my poor OC too.

Sara really likes the idea of wearing something of Levi’s. Whether it would fit or not I leave up to you!


	35. Chapter 33 notes

The way it’s raining is like it did in no regrets/birth of Levi when Isabel and Furlan died.

When Levi heads to Sara all he is thinking about is his duty to his fallen comrades. He’s not making a booty call!

Levi doesn’t like his reputation as “humanity’s strongest solider” but he knows it has its uses.

Timothy is the man from chapter 4 and 9. He been with the Cartwright company for years and years. Carlos is one of the veterans and is his partner. They are very cute together.

Levi’s “awful look” is no where near as bad as how he was after squad Levi died but it’s still reflecting his grief.

Just a reminder that Mike and Sara are friends and they talk too :)

Hendrick is a general dogsbody for Sara, he’s now as close to a bodyguard as she allows. He works at the warehouse almost like a foreman but also does odd jobs for her. She’s known him for a long time and trusts him.

Um yeah... no ones has ever “done that” to Sara but she’s not ignorant about pleasure.

Soundtrack option is Galleaux’s Tether me. Yep that one from Lucifer. Awesome show with an awesome lead actor! And I’m not just saying that coz he’s welsh too.  
  



	36. Notes for Warmth

Levi only got back into bed because Sara reach out for him. If she hadn’t he would have lit the fireplace in the front room (where Noah died) and brought the rack through, dried his clothes off for a while, slept for a couple of hours in a chair then left. It would have made their next meeting a little awkward.

Erwin talks about Levi in his letters to Sara but only in passing remarks.

I love the idea of Kenny giving Levi really inappropriate advice when he was too young to understand it, like Kenny’s top tips included how to drink a yard of ale when Levi was too small to even hold it and the incorrect locations of erogenous zones on a woman when he hadn’t even hit puberty yet!

Levi never actually apologises with words!


	37. Notes for chapter 35

The last mission is the worst regular expedition since Erwin took command and it was the last of the year so the troops went into their “winter break” on a very low tone

Mike works it out. He doesn’t tell.

Erwin obviously still doesn’t have a clue. At this point, if he did find out, he wouldn’t be sure exactly what to think!

How many confessions do you think Levi gets? Not that many I reckon from people who actually know him lol!


	38. Notes for ch36

  
Sara sneezes like a kitten but blows her noses in a very uncute fashion, making a sound like an elephant! She hates getting sick.

Helena cuts a very severe and imposing figure. She’s like a stereotypical harsh matron. She’s tall and thin with greying dark brown hair and dull blue eyes.

Sleeping in William’s bed, Sara has the best sleep she’s had in a long time.


	39. Random notes for chapter 37

Charlotte and the guys are playing something like poker dice.

If Sara and Hange got married they’d probably blow up the estate within a week!

If Sara married Mike (which she wouldn’t ever do because of the tentative relationship he has with Nanaba) they’d actually make a good couple.

Mike is kinda annoyed he can’t dance like Erwin can.

Sorry, had to poke some fun at Nile. He’s such a bellend. (Even his own voice actor doesn’t like him lol)

Soundtrack option is for Sara and Hange’s dance. The second video is more the right sound for it but I heard The Corrs’ one first. Playful and energetic 😁


	40. Notes for worth the wounds

  
Charlotte wouldn’t have asked Sara to sing if Joanna hadn’t mentioned it first.

I think I’ve accidentally started something with Sara and her being against a wall and Levi having to control himself!

Erwin is starting to ship his friends lol!

Hange is so fun to write! She’s so awesome.

Poor Moblit ends up getting used as a teddy bear by his boss.

“What a disturbing glimpse into that shit hole you call a brain.” My favourite Levi line so far!

I figure everyone has a very low opinion of people who live in the underground city. Their assumptions piss Levi off.

Can’t just ask the girl you like to dance can you Levi. Have to have an excuse don’t you Levi. You sure are a pain in the arse to write for sometimes aren’t you Levi.

If Hange had been there, and been sober enough, she wouldn’t have said too much at the time. Rather she would have waited until later when they were alone and then ribbed him mercilessly!

  
Soundtrack option is Cat Pierce’s You Belong to Me. I literally wrote the scene listening to it. I know it’s not a waltz but can you imagine whispering some of those lines to Levi!

“Crawl into my heart, take me apart

Do what you please to me, I won’t resist

Find what you’re seeking, I am not leaving

’Til I am drunk, loved up, bitten and kissed”


	41. Worship notes

In the past, the troops have been involved in a couple of small brawls caused by “overindulging” lol. The last one involved Mike and Levi breaking it up. The two don’t know they’ve put the fear of god into all the others!

If Levi had his way, all the troops would have been involved in scrubbing the estate clean after leaving their mess.

Erwin jokingly asked Sara to marry him for his 10th birthday present. Sara was 8. She told him to shut up and nearly hit him in the face with his actual present (a book).

Um yeah so, dear reader, you may have noticed the length on the romantic encounters between Sara and Levi getting longer. This is intentional. It mirrors the growth of their emotional connection.


	42. Chapter 40 notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes for Deep Breath

First draft of this didn’t have the bit at the start, it went straight to Sara waking up. Without it it kinda felt like we’d missed a step with Sara’s feelings.

There was going to be another sex scene as well! But again it didn’t feel right and read like Levi was there just for sex.   
  


_Very_ tempted to write a slot in Mike/Nanaba scene for the broke table! 😂🤣😂🤣 (especially with Mike acting all innocent about it the morning after!!!)

  
So yeah, Levi spent the time after he’d woken up in Sara’s bed thinking about being “official” with her. Cause he’s an awkward sod he’s pitching it as a way to save her life, not for his own romantic interests.   
  
  


Deep breath, dear readers. Deep breath.


	43. Notes for 41 and 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes for Shatter and Void

So, dear readers... I’m sorry!

If it makes you feel any better, I cried when writing my first draft of this.

Just to confirm, this isn’t some trick. William isn’t miraculously going to show up later like it was all just a misunderstanding. He is dead but they never find/identify his body.

I’ve tried to make William’s death as opposite to the death of the soldiers in aot as possible. It’s a very deliberate attempt. His death is accidental, not caused by a Titan and didn’t benefit anyone. It wasn’t heroic or in service to any grand dream. And he was a just child.

Random fact - Did you know there’s no word in the English language for a parent who loses a child? If you lose your spouse, you’re a widow/widower. If you lose you parents, you’re an orphan. Closest we get is the borrowed “vilomah” which is Sanskrit and means “against the natural order.”

Wolff is dead so Sara (or anyone for that matter) has no immediate direction for their anger or blame. Again, this is very deliberate.

Sara has lost all hope and is suicidal. Erwin recognises this almost straight away. Hange recognises it subconsciously.

There is a parallel between Sara and Eren with their rage but while Eren blames the Titans, Sara’s anger is directed towards humanity itself and her hatred is aimed at herself.

On a lighter note!!!!

The conversation Levi wanted to have in chapter 40 Deep Breath - if it actually happened, would have been the most awkward thing you’ve ever seen. It would have been almost painful to watch (or write). Levi would have been very clumsy about it and after finally getting his point across, in a very unromantic and inarticulate way, Sara would have become very flustered and embarrassed. It would have been hilarious. If Hange had seen it, she wouldn’t have been able to stop laughing for about a week!

If the dreaded wedding had happened, Sara would have died within a year and William would have been brought up to be an awful, cruel, bigoted noble (and everything Sara hated about the nobility).

Without the wedding, Sara would have been forced to give up the estate and connecting properties to Wolff and she would have had to “contribute” to its new owner from her family business. It would have meant the business would’ve struggled to survive and the Scouts would have lost their main benefactor.

BUT Sara and William, haven given up their claim for inheritance, would have lived and would have, eventually, become a family with Levi. (Another Au of an au anyone?) It would have been very cute. Awkward, especially to start, but cute.


	44. Notes for chapter 43 The gravity of grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random notes for 43

  
Charlotte doesn’t know what to do. When she goes home to see her husband, she cries and cries.

Writing about expeditions is HARD!! Any helpful hints lovely readers?

Justin is Justin from chapter 37/38. Charlotte doesn’t learn about his death for a long time. Neither does Sol.

His friend George (from chapter 37) was in a different squad and didn’t find out until they were heading back to the walls. He took it very badly but bravely decided to continue on in his friend’s name. He stays with the Scouts until the big battle with the beast titan where he dies with his comrades. His pregnant fiancé name their son Justin as it’s what George would have wanted.


	45. Chapter 44 notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes for Awakening

  
One of the big things for Sara is touch. Hardly anyone ever touches her. After William was born, after her parents died, her husband only touched her to hurt her. Her staff and veteran friends are very restrained. She rarely got to see William for long periods. She is touch starved.

Noah, Charlotte, Levi, Hange and Erwin were the exceptions.

At this point though, no one has done more than accidentally brushed against her in weeks and weeks. So Charlotte’s slap has extra effect.

I wanted to add more background for Charlotte and it seems parallels are my thing - she lost the ability to have children and Sara lost her child.

Sara’s return to a more conscious state is slow, mostly because she doesn’t have the energy for it to be quicker. Frankly she doesn’t have the electrolytes for it!

Added the idea that Sara still thinks the best of Erwin, that he left her behind to keep her from further hurt. This is the truth. He figured he had to put distance between them and then if he, or any of the others she was close to, died outside the walls, it might not effect her too much. This is a very stupid assumption Erwin!

Given the treatment of her from her mother, this hopefully tells you a little something of Sara’s own strength. She is only this strong because of her grandfather. (More on this later)


	46. Notes for Bitter Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 45 notes

Poor Gunther got dumped. Hard. By letter.

Levi has led training 4 times. The soldiers consider going outside the walls, facing death, preferable to it!

Without Sara and her gentle prodding of the nobles, and even Lord Huber and his lingering influence as a patron (though it was just a want of prestige), the Scouts do suffer a loss of support. Not enough to stop them, but times are lean.

“No running in the hallway, dumbasses!” Anyone get the reference?

Just a reminder that the bulk of the Survey Corps still have no idea what’s happened to Sara, especially with the minimal reporting by the press.

Lady Stoker is an incredibly vapid woman who needs a reality check. If anyone needed a slap, it’s her.

I read up on severe grief and depression. Mood swings, dark thoughts, sudden aggression, self harm, wanting to change one’s appearance; heavy reading, scary stuff.

The hair cutting thing is a PTSD symptom a friend of mine had. “Got to cut my hair. Snip snip snip. Got to cut it more. Snip snip snip. Bit more. Snip snip snip. More more more. Snip snip snip...”

Whether Helena’s stopping her is a good thing or not, not sure, but it would have effected Sara’s plans to get further into the court. Such a blatant showing of grief would have been a bit too much for the reserved blue bloods.

If you need help, please PLEASE ask for it. You are loved by more than you know.


	47. Notes for Flex and Bend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 46 notes

Paul was an idiot, he could have gotten the entire squad killed with his overconfidence and recklessness.

Still love me some background Mike/Nanaba. I like the idea that on the very, very rare occasions they let themselves take comfort in each other, after they’ve made love, Mike goes for a good cuddle and keeps her tucked up against him until morning.

Levi is a little jealous of their relationship but he doesn’t really know it. Even if he did, he’d never admit it.

When Hange gets excited about something and Moblit isn’t there to be a sounding board (Levi listens but rarely get involved in the conversation), she will go to write things down. It’s in moments like this that she’ll think about writing to Sara. Then realise her mistake and go quiet. Levi hates seeing this happen. As much as her exuberance frustrates and annoys him, he wants her to behave as normal.

Music choice for Sara’s exit was perhaps a little over dramatic but it was just the idea of her walking down a long corridor in a flowing black dress, spine straight, dark thoughts....

That and the lyrics are amazing 

“No more will my green sea  
Go turn a deeper blue  
I could not foresee this thing  
Happening to you”


	48. Notes for Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 47 info

Progress notes

“Almost 5 years” - so you can guess what’s coming next! Are you getting excited?

I really like the idea of Hange wittering away to herself about projects, driving Moblit mad

Love that it’s been confirmed that Moblit drinks the most heavily because of his “situation” 😂🤣😂🤣😂

It’s not really discussed who came up with the target cannons but in my mind it’s Hange and Moblit because, in the Scouts, they probably know the most about the Titans and their weaknesses. (Like the tie in to chapter 29?)

Mortimer is not a nice man.

If Sara had gone to the chapel 1 of 2 things would have happened; 1 there would have been an attempted forced marriage and/or rape and that would have gone badly for everyone or, 2 Sara would have been brought into the church but only minimally, with the organisation trying to take her for all she’s worth for “the good of the church” and Mortimer would have been praised for bringing her (money) in. It would have taken years from Sara to make any progress this way.

Yep, you guessed it - heeeeerrrreeee’s Kenny! The person he spoke to, that Sara didn’t know, was Rod Reiss


	49. Notes for ch48 Dangerous hope

  
Yay! Eren and the gang are here!

So the story will now track with the manga/anime as much as it can with Sara’s arc weaving in between (I hope this works) My plan is to follow it through until just after season 3/chapter 90 (why do I do this to myself?!?!)

The events are supposed to happen canonically quite quickly- I hope I can keep up!

Considering what we know about Levi now, compared to his very cool introduction, and the way he looks in the manga after he asked Eren if he hates him, I think he really wouldn’t have relished the idea of beating an unarmed young man, to the point of questioning Erwin about it.

Levi finds Erwin’s ability to manipulate others, and even himself, mildly terrifying, though, perversely, it’s one of the reasons why he trusts him so much.

Hange buys Levi tea to keep herself in his good books

Hange’s did see Sara but she did a proper double take. Sara didn’t look like herself and it wasn’t just the weight loss. She’s lost her natural warmth and she was dressed in clothes far nicer than Hange’s ever seen her in. Poor Hange didn’t know what to make of it.


	50. Notes for chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sins of Overconfidence

  
I love writing Hange. She’s so wonderfully complex. Yes she is a nutter but she’s also very compassionate and has a great deal of faith in her friends and comrades.

Same with Erwin. We know from the manga he’s more than just the ruthless commander. He feels the weight of all the lives lost for his cause and does have moments of doubt.

  
As mentioned, this part follows the anime for the use of the target restraint weapons in Stohess that doesn’t happen in the manga. I think they would have taken every single one they had available with them on the expedition so Erwin would have had to get Sara to get other ones used for his “plan c”.   
  


Poor Sara has no idea what is going on!


	51. Notes for ‘To be weak’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 50 notes

Well... has to get worse before it gets better! I can’t help but love the idea of a dramatic walk away scene. The soundtrack option for this really helped my write it and the start of the carriage scene.

The lyrics are amazing and also touch on Sara’s loss and how it really “ended” her relationship with Levi as well

“But I am a witness to love’s death,

There’s no blood, there’s no body, there’s nothing left,

Oh my darling don’t you ever forget,

I wasn’t prepared for the end.”

This was actually one of the earlier confirmed moments I had in my original outline for this story - I just had the idea of this moment where a raw and venerable Levi, having not long lost his entire team, would find out the woman he’s in love with has been risking herself to try and find out some information and would lose his cool in trying to warn her off. It’s basically a pivotal moment for him in realising just what he feels for her and that he would be willing to give it up in order to save her life.

Oh Levi you’re such a softy with your unspoken want of a happily ever after with Sara. But he’s never really acknowledged it until that point and he feels it makes him a little pathetic for not being able to move on from her the way he feels he should - see chapter 46 (sorry bud you’re in love, not so easy to move on!)

The coolness between Sara and Erwin is basically because she’s doing something he doesn’t agree with but can’t deny is useful. She’s essentially making herself a disposable chess piece for him and he hates it but has to go along with it - more on this to come though.

Can’t believe I’ve written 50 chapters! Bloody hell!


	52. Chapter 51 notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes for A Change in Reality

So just a bit of clarification without being too specific coz I can’t quite work out exactly where everything would be myself lol! (If anyone has any suggestions on exact location I’m all ears!!!) The Huber estate is within Wall Sina but the main warehouse is in Wall Rose, as is the hunting lodge and 12 chimneys.

This chapter was a tricky one to write because the canon story has a set time line for the main characters and a lot happens but very little is given on what happened to the regular people besides the evacuation, the lack of food supplies and the threat of civil war soooooo lots of assumptions on my part.

Given what happens in season 3 I figure the other nobles/aristocracy being hidden away in their homes, ignoring the rest of the population wasn’t much of a leap.

This is the start of a shift for Sara. Her world view is changing.

There is so much she hates about the nobility and aristocracy BUT even she could admit they wouldn't be able to save everyone.

Her fear of people turning against each other becomes very real, and while she always knew there were “bad elements” within the walls, to her the Titans were their biggest threat to humanity’s survival.

Sara recognises that there is an awful lot of strength in people who have little/nothing to lose or people who know how to fight to survive unlike the bulk of the MPs who have led cushy life.

Of course Levi and his background and his strength had to creep into her thoughts. Though obviously she doesn’t know he’s so strong because he’s an Ackerman and mildly superhuman.

Anja Schreiber is a woman in her 60s. She’s a widow and been raising Nina on her own since her son and his wife died from illness. She knows Nina was approached by Jacob to spy on Sara and while didn’t agree with it, knew Nina dare not refuse such a dangerous man.

Just to add a little note that Nina isn’t some wisp of a girl anymore, she’s becoming a fine young woman 


End file.
